ON RELATIONSHIPS

Relationships don't come to life, or don't work or are interrupted by chance because everyone lives the fruits of his consciousness. The nature of your life is dictated by the nature of the concept that you hold of yourselves and that is an unchangeable and eternal law because there is no cause for this world save in consciousness! Which in Scriptures is called God, namely your awareness. If you are not aware of what you are, that is, the concept that you entertain of yourselves, you face the vicissitudes of life as victims of the fate, trying to foresee what the future will hold while the future is dictated by the nature of your awareness and therefore it is predictable and malleable in every respect, without exception.



Concerning relationships you always receive from others an attitude and a treatment equal to the concept that you have of yourselves and the reflection of what you entertain about the other person involved in the relationship, because your concept of yourselves is the lens through which you interpret the world and mold it because it's that concept to direct your imagination.

No one will never show you and give you more than the concept that you entertain of yourselves! And this is already happening in your life under every point of view. It is to the Self that you must turn to and it's only the love for yourselves that will allow you to elevate your concept of yourselves and then your value.

Therefore the first relationship to cultivate is with yourselves! This is important to understand if you want a happy life because there is no other cause in your world. The world is your reflection! Therefore you cannot experience in your world something that you don't have within you, and that is concepts that you do not accept for yourselves! This is the Biblical law symbolized very well in this sentence:

'For he that hath, to him shall be given: and he that hath not, from him shall be taken even that which he hath.'

It follows that no one can love you more than how much you love yourselves, or can give you more attention than the one you give yourselves; no one will never respect, value, appreciate you more than how much you respect, value, appreciate yourselves. The importance you hold of yourselves is the one that life will reserve you, and you cannot consider yourselves important if you do not allow yourselves to be happy without someone or something, that is, if you don't love yourselves.
You will never be a priority for anyone if at first you don't become a priority for yourselves.
You cannot give others what you cannot conceive for yourselves because you lack those concepts and therefore they're unknown to you. Loving yourselves is thus the key to happy relationships, in every area.
 

Suffering arises when you search on the outside the fulfillment of your internal deficiencies.

Consequently, if a relationship is not harmonious it's useless to blame the other person because he has done nothing but your inner will.
What helps you to avoid to worsening the situation? Understand that your world is a copy of your inner work and grasp that it's your state of being that declares the nature of the relationships that you experience, therefore to recover that relationship, whatever type it can be, you have to feel love for yourselves and the other person. If you struggle to prove your reasons than you do not grab your responsibility in your life, you miss that the cause of your experience is the Self and not the outside, which is a mere reflection.
It would be worthwhile to use experiences as lessons for changing, maybe by checking and then eliminating those fears that lead the person to cyclical and convulsive reactions or mechanisms such as the fear of being left behind, betrayed, unloved, unaccepted, rejected, and so on, and that to operate a revision of those reactions in order to grant yourselves a future free from those events. The other person is always the mirror of one of your aspects, it's a master. 

 

Discriminate between feeling loved and the need of receiving it because in the first case you will experience loving relationships, while in the second case, no, because the inner need projects on the outside the same lack, and this concept is poetically expressed as follows:

 

“Those that go searching for love

only make manifest their own lovelessness,

and the loveless never find love, 

only the loving find love, 

and they never have to seek for it.” 

(D. H. Lawrence)